Praised be Jesus and Mary!

There was a really sad day in our family last February. My sister, who has been married for seven years, has not been blessed by the grace of conceiving, pregnancy and delivering a child. As if those seven infertile years were not sufficient pain for a young couple, she learned news which completely broke her heart. Doctors told this couple that they were both infertile and they should come to terms with it – they would never feel motherly and fatherly joy. I cannot even imagine how much pain was in their hearts, when I myself felt it so much in my heart. I passed the vigil of Lent in front of a small candle, in prayer, and I decided to read a piece from Mathew’s Gospel where he writes about the Beatitudes. Deeply immersed in these beautiful words of Jesus, my heart fixed upon: “Blessed are those who mourn: for they shall be comforted.” (Mt 5, 4)

That night my heart became a mustard seed which believed that the hill of infertility was nothing compared to the greatness of the grace of our Heavenly Father. So I decided to fast for forty days eating only bread and drinking water, and to sacrifice this small offering for my sister and her husband and for their joy, so that they could hold their own baby in their arms one day. How difficult it would be – I experienced this already after some days of fasting. Temptations were getting stronger and stronger and my body weaker and weaker. After two weeks bread became repellent to me and sometimes it tasted like clay. The room was full of plenty of smells of my favorite dishes although I was there alone and there was no food in the house.

What was the most difficult were the permanent attacks of the devil, thoughts that everything I was doing did not make any sense, I would get sick soon because of the lack of food, that I should stop now and get something to eat. In the most difficult moments when my body cried out for food, I knelt, took the rosary and prayed, and thought about how one day kids would be running around the house of my sister. Their laughter which I imagined carried me as an angel in its arms, just like the angel which overcame all temptations. Although I offered those forty days without food for others, I felt how my soul was climbing the hill of infertility and on the very peak – weak, humble and modest – experiencing conversion. Although the body was weak, the spirit was rising to heights where it could freely hover like never before. Those moments were full of God’s closeness… closeness which revealed the real meaning of sacrifice… closeness revealed by Love.

„For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light“  (Ps 36, 10)

I spent my last of the forty nights on my knees, looking at the flame of a small candle which had given me so much strength through all those hard days... And all of a sudden, I heard words in my thoughts: “For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light” (Ps 36, 10). In those moments I entirely submitted myself to heaven. Physical weakness completely disappeared on the instant when my spirit immersed in the Father’s love... So tenderly could I hear the Father’s words: “I have heard the prayer and plea you have made before me; I have consecrated this temple, which you have built, by putting my Name there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there” (1Kings 9, 3). Tears rolled down my face all night long and my heart was full of joy because I knew that all those moments about which I thought in the hard moments, would soon become reality.

A month later, the pain which had lasted seven years in the bottom of one young woman’s heart ended... my sister conceived and now in her blessed womb she has twins, two new eternal lives.

Brothers and sisters, become little children. Praise the Father, Lord of heaven and earth, who has hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.

Let the intercession of Our Lady and God’s blessing accompany you!

(Mateo, Croatia)